Love Takes Work
One of my regular callers just got married. She’d been calling me for two years and from day one, I predicted that she would be marrying her boyfriend. They had been dating for years and basically having the same argument over and over again. She didn’t realize she was in a growth-based relationship.
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What is a Growth-Based Relationship?
Our calls revolved around why she chose to stay in a relationship with this man. Her cards constantly told her that this was a growth-based relationship. Growth-based or growth-fostering relationships allow you to reveal the deepest darkest parts of who you are so that you can be free to achieve your highest potential. The ultimate goal of a growth-based relationship is to absorb the lessons this new relationship offers you, and use them to become a better human being. Most of the time, these relationships do not look like romantic comedies.
The Importance of a Growth-Based Relationship
A growth-focused, also known as a growth-based or growth-fostering relationship is meant to be one in which both partners support each other in their work and personal lives. Where you might hesitate to take on personal or professional challenges on your own, in a growth-fostering relationship, you know that your partner is there to encourage and support you every step of the way, as you are for them. A growth-based relationship is one in which you are encouraged to explore and challenge yourself, knowing that you have someone ready and willing to help you.
The Work Doesn’t End
My caller had a love that was willing to walk with her through life and get on her nerves every step of the way. These two had to see the worst of each other so that they could recognize their reflection in the other. After years of passionate exchanges, he proposed and they were married within a week of that proposal. However, the work isn’t over for them—this is actually just the beginning.
They still have to work on themselves if they want to build their life together as a team. So, in honor of this couple, I’ve compiled a list of things people in growth-based relationships need to remember:
1. You chose this person. You chose to invite them into your life, and each moment you spend with them is a choice. Even though you are in a relationship, you are still autonomous and in control of where, how, and with whom you spend your time.
2. Your happiness is your responsibility. Consistently do things to put a smile on your own face. Treat yourself the way you want your partner to treat you and learn to identify your needs too. If you have needs for your partner to meet, please articulate them clearly.
3. You teach your partner how to treat your friends and family. You set the tone. How you act and what you say teaches your partner how to act and what to say too. If you respect your family and friends, so will your partner.
4. You teach your friends and family how to treat your partner. You set the tone here, too. If you respect your partner, so will your family and friends.
5. You can create whatever you want to see in your life. If you want your partner to continue being your best friend, treat your partner the way you would treat a best friend and be transparent. If you want more money, start actively researching ways to make more money.
6. Do not judge each other. There will be even less mystery and secrecy between you and your partner than you could ever imagine. You will know everything about them over time and will often learn something new about them. Some of the things you learn might be shocking, but don’t judge. Your love is unconditional, remember? You attract who you are and most times everything is equal on both sides. If your partner is reckless and wild, more than likely so are you. Birds of a feather drink, smoke, and act out together!
7. It’s okay to argue. You’re never going to see eye to eye on everything, and that’s okay. It’s actually a sign of a healthy relationship that you’re not afraid of conflict and expressing what makes you uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to voice your disagreements, or even let the discussion get a little heated, as long as you are able to come together respectfully at the end of it all.
8. Don’t forget to apologize. Even in the best of relationships, things can go pear-shaped. When that happens, it’s best to walk away from the situation, and when you’re ready to apologize, actually mean it. An empty apology with strings attached means nothing, and will only exacerbate the situation. Relationships are about compromise, and sometimes that compromise means you just have to let it go.
9. Balance personal and your shared space. You need to have a life outside of your relationship, no matter how nurturing and supportive it is. Cultivate hobbies and interests that help you grow as an individual. You’ll both be all the better for it.
10. Remember who you were before you got together. Don’t forget to be true to your gifts and talents. Don’t neglect your friends and family. Be in love but don’t forget to be yourself!
In for the Long Haul
Falling in love is the easy part of a relationship. It’s staying in love and maintaining the relationship and the lives you’ve built together, that’s the challenge. And there will be challenges because that’s just life. Being part of a growth-based relationship can make it all much easier to face though because you’re already used to supporting each other through difficult times. You’ve seen your good and bad sides and know what it takes to pull the other through an emotional moment, or when to stop pushing boundaries. Growth-based relationships aren’t the easiest things, but the love, friendship, and support you gain from being in one are well worth it.
Being in love is a life experience that everyone deserves. Whether you’re looking for your soulmate or wondering how to keep the romantic fires burning in your relationship, a love psychic can help. They want to see you happy and a psychic love reading can help you find or keep the love meant for you.
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