How to Handle These First Date Disasters
Your first date can be a dream or a nightmare. It all depends on how you embrace the experience—in more ways than one! There are those times when you meet someone special and don’t feel your feet touch the ground when the evening is over—and it isn’t because of the champagne you shared. When you feel a mutual attraction on a first date, it makes your evening sublime. Budding love is intoxicating.
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But just as often, there are those times when you discover that you have nothing in common with that person across the table. Even worse is the cancelled date, the no-show, or that hoped-for date that doesn’t happen. It’s all about how you hold and nurture each of these first date experiences:
Their Looks and Charm Make You Nervous
You’ve let your nerves get the best of you and now you’ve done something embarrassing and want to crawl under the table. Don’t! Instead, keep your sense of humor. Who doesn’t love a person who can laugh off spilling wine on their clothes, or just about anything that’s completely human?
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Admitting that your nervous on a first date is not only flattering to that desirable creature, but you’ll be disarming in your honestly. They’re probably nervous too and this can really lighten the mood. They’re certainly human just like you, so they’ll probably be relieved that you’ve made the first mistake. That’s how we bond as humans—by meeting someone else’s humanness.
They’re Boring, Self-Absorbed or Boorish
Make the most of your first date by being polite and attentive. Maybe after a bit of time together you’ll discover an interesting or attractive side of them. Perhaps they’re misbehaving because their nervous. But if the evening ends and you still know this isn’t someone you want to spend time with again, you’ll at least be proud of yourself for giving them a shot and you’ll have learned the art of patience—an important social skill in anyone’s repertoire.
They’ve Cancelled at the Last Minute
First dates get cancelled at the last minute for a lot of reasons, including legitimate excuses like family emergencies or work issues. Just let them be the one to make the next move and ask you out again when their life calms down. They better show up on time next time—they owe you that at the very least! But if they cancel for no good reason, don’t agree to go out with them again. Who needs someone like that in their life?
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They’re a No-Show
If your waiting for a date who never shows up, you should just forget about them, right? Well unless they had an emergency and couldn’t get to a phone, there’s no need to see them again. If they tell you they had the wrong day or just forgot they had a date with you, you need to go with your gut on this. If you feel like they’re being honest and are making a sincere attempt to make things right, agree to reschedule your first date. But if you feel like they are being dishonest, don’t make future plans with them.
The First Date That Will Never Happen
You could be attracted to someone and hoping they’ll ask you out. That doesn’t mean they will. Maybe they’re already in a relationship or maybe you’re not their type. Whatever the reason, don’t stay at home on a Saturday night hoping they’ll come around. Instead, go out with friends and have a good time. Maybe you’ll meet your soulmate or someone who will make you completely forget about your crush.
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First dates can be the most exciting dates of your life, but you have to approach them with a positive attitude. The good ones can lead to long-term love, and the bad ones can teach you so much. If you open yourself up to happiness and disappointment, you will grow into a better person. An remember, you’re already with the perfect person—yourself! So while you’re looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, cultivate a good relationship with yourself.
2 thoughts on “The Dating Life: How to Get Through the First Date”
Oh GEMINI thank you very much , you’ve brought it out exactly what is happening to me
its as if we talked before you posted up that comment
And thanks to Sybil too, because without him /her i wouldn’t have got all this knowledge
i’ve gone through difficulties and the last one is very annoying and ashaming, an idiot with in my village hidden behind the suits of a good one and lied to me. oh I really have pain for this
Thank you Sybil for your article. I have had all of these experiences but, I am getting
fustrated and disappointed all the time. I am going to retire from dating to many jerks,
liers, cheaters, scammers. Actually you grow into a disappointed person and don’t want
to bother anymore. As far as soul mates they say there are many of them not just one.
But, I have been dating for so long, and had so many bad experiences I just prefer to
concentrate on myself and forget all that let down and pain. (still have not found life partner).