Be a Master of Online Dating

You may be new or a veteran Online dater. Sometimes you give up, try multiple sites or just find yourself aimlessly wandering the digital highway hoping someone will help you find a new crop of potential partners on social networks.

You show up, you scan the meeting place, then you spot him or her — instead of meeting…you decide to leave. You meet up with your friends that you double-booked with as an out clause and then wonder why it’s so hard to meet people.

Here are a few hints that might help you in your digital quest for love, lust and laughter:

Throw Away Your List:
A laundry list of qualities may sound good written down: intelligent, funny, only 6 feet tall, no kids, doesn’t drink, must have a job -— but in reality how many former partners have ever fit that list?

If you are looking for a perfect human being, it’s not going to happen. Take a chance approaching people outside of your normal filters. After all, you signed up to widen your dating pool.

Meet and Greet:
Are you having an amazing connection with someone via emails and phone calls, but you have yet to meet? If your expectations are now keeping you from meeting this person you’ve fallen into a classic category of romanticizing another person. Don’t exchange more then a week’s worth of communication without setting a plan to meet. What will you have to talk about in person? There’s no need to waste your time with a person you might not have a connection with in the real world. Stop hiding behind distance and electronic devices.

Do Your Homework:
You show up and the person you are supposed to meet doesn’t remotely fit their online description. Well, did they have one photo? Was it blurry? Were they wearing a costume or their high school ring? For this do they have to suffer the humiliation of getting stood up? If you bothered to get to the destination, at least say hello and chat for a few minutes. Even if it’s painful, your Momma didn’t raise you to be rude.

Ask For Help:
How come your friend is going on date after date while you are stuck at home? They are probably doing all of the above, but most importantly they wrote a killer profile. These days everything you do is about self-marketing. It’s not just enough to write a great song or book or do a good job at work and expect to be recognized. You have to be bold and approach finding a mate with confidence and being witty. What is going to make you stand out in a crowd? A generic profile isn’t going to do it. Get that popular friend to help you re-write your profile and give your photos a once over — you may be surprised at the results.

Everyone Deserves One Date:
You can weed out as much as you want, but each profile you skip over is a missed chance for a potential connection.

Happy hunting!

13 thoughts on “Be a Master of Online Dating

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  3. Yvonne

    I was so meant to read this one! Been trying the online dating and met most honest, reputable men. Unfortunately, the last who only emailed me, said had no phone, and we were to meet nearer his city — was a jerk. When the last night before leaving in the morning, I asked for an emergency cell phone of his male roommate or his address (more than just the meeting spot), he felt I was asking for too much personal information! I explained as a female, and having been married to ex who deals with lakes w/bodies, etc. I needed to have more information. He then thought I was too far away from him and definitely asking too much or I/or contacts would check him out too much. I believe I dodged a bullet — was the lucky one to have NOT met him and still plan to report him to POF as disreputable. It will get better in 2010!

  4. James

    what if thay whant you to help them out of a nuther country but thay say thay are from us and need you to send money to them so thay can be whith the love of there life after two weeks of talking I really need advise on this please and thank you

  5. james

    I know what you meen I am truthfull on my myspace pag to and I keep geting people from over seas whanting money did you have that problem to or is that what you was talking about.

  6. Marylou Collins

    Well..I have been doing the internet dating thing for seven months now..Some days it is exciting..others..not so much. My biggest problem? Everyone that I seem to have a real connex with lives out of state!

    But…it has been an interesting journey, to say the least..

  7. David

    Kathy you are not alone in the online dating game, I too am truthful in my profile and get the wrong people as well. Unfortunately scammers tend to prey on those who are honest and compassionate, this is because they can use your compassionate nature against you. I have experienced many. It is unfortunate that this happens and it ruins the whole experience. But still I keep on trying. You learn how to weed these people out.

  8. Joey

    I have to chuckle at this, b/c I understand online dating all too well. It was pure torture most of the time, but I decided two years ago I WAS going to meet the special one. It was like a job hunt for me. Well, just when I was ready to give up,I met the man of my dreams, my soul mate and the most ethical and kind man ever. So to my clients out there…don’t lose hope and think you are aboard The Titanic! I often tell my busy clients to at least give it a shot. I tell them, they will meet some frogs, but hang in there. This is espeically true for people who are really busy with little time to socialize. Make it a coffee date. That is pretty quick and painless, although one guy I met on a Starbucks venture brought The Guide to New England with him, and said he was leaving town, pretty much for ever. Hey, you will get some good stories, and make your friends laugh at some of this. I know I did, and the final payoff, my lovely boyfriend, who is endearing, sweet and smart!
    Love, Joey 9406…happy trails in the dating world—get out there and mingle!

  9. Kathy

    I have tried the online dating.It
    wasn’t a very enjoyable experience.
    I ran into several scams. I was
    truthful with my profile and
    because of that the wrong people
    contacted me.Upsetting, it was
    very much so.

  10. Elise Walker

    Excellent article. It’s true that we often raise the bar so high that we fail to see that these are real people with less-than-perfect qualities. As long as you’re not putting yourself in harm’s way, we need to exercise some patience, too.

  11. Psychic Maryanne Ext. 9146

    Great article! All of the points are valid, but I do feel the throw away your list or at least examine your list to see if it is absolutely too restrictive-deep down are we doing some avoidance?
    Certainly going through with a meeting, even if only for a few minutes is important. Who knows what positive things will result from the good Karma you develop from following through or if you should only make a friend who, of course, has other friends to introduce you to, it’s definitely a gain for you-not a loss.
    Ext. 9146


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