Valentine’s Day: The Aftermath

Whether you are part of a couple or single, Valentine’s Day can trigger a lot of feelings that may swirl around for weeks afterwards. So what’s the best way to handle those feelings and situations that may arise?

Attitudes toward Valentine’s Day, even between couples, can span from indifference to passion that verges on the religious. For instance, if you could care less that cupid has come to town – single or not – and your partner is walking around with a heart-shaped arrow hanging out of their chest, there might have been some friction about how you spent February 14th.

If together
If you’re the one wondering why you didn’t receive something bigger or better (or didn’t even get to have a special night together), withhold judgment on your partner. Try to remember that many people shrink from the pressure to “show your love” in a material way. Emotions are not material things – that’s their power and allure. Looking at the gift (or the lack thereof!) and deciding what that means about emotions is like looking at a toy boat and deciding you know everything about the ocean. Only you know in your heart the emotion between you and your partner. Don’t let the world of things impede the world that is beyond things.

If you’re single
A day that’s hyped as the celebration of romantic love can feel like a punch in the gut if you recently ended a relationship or if you wish you were in a one. If you feel relief that Valentine’s Day has, thankfully, come and gone, take a moment to re-evaluate what the day means for you. If you laid low and quietly let the day go by, write out a self-love rain check. You are deserving of any gift that you wish you could receive from another. Buy yourself flowers, exactly the ones that you want! If you wish to spend a day at the spa, go right ahead. If you want a diamond tennis bracelet (and if it’s in your budget) there is no reason not to have one! You don’t have to wait for someone to give you what you want. You can live it up all on your own and the best part is, you don’t have to hint around until someone else finally gets it. You know what you want. Give it to yourself.

Either way
Single or not, it’s important to remember that is it just one day out of the year. How you spent the day is not the ultimate statement on whom you love, who loves you or if you are lovable at all. It’s just one more twenty-four hour period of time in a string of pearls of your life. Participate in love everyday. Love of your friends and family and the common love of being a part of this world in this place in time. The reason that Valentine’s Day seems like such a big deal is that we do not emphasize love enough all the other days of the year. Love is all around you all the time. If you value love the whole year through, next year, February 14th will just be more of what you treasure all the time. So, go out and celebrate Valentine’s no matter what the calendar says because in the end, the love is inside of you.

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