How to Free Yourself From a Bad Relationship

Free From Bad Relationship

A Bad Relationship Escape Plan

One of the hardest decisions you can be faced with is how to free yourself from a bad relationship. For whatever reason, the relationship just does not work and you want out. How do you tell your partner that you do not want to be with them anymore? Confrontations of any nature can be very intimidating.

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Make Plans First

Before doing anything, first take a good look at your situation. Do you have your own home or do you live with your partner? If you live together, then where will you go? Or is your partner going to have to leave? What is your financial position? The bottom line is that if you live by yourself, the breakup can be much easier and quicker than if you live together. If you live together, then make plans before getting free of your bad relationship.

How You Leave

After your plans have been put into place, the next thing to do is to decide how you are going to handle the breakup. How you leave is important and everyone’s situation is different. There are some people from whom you need to run away. There are other people that can get a text, email, letter or phone call. And there are those people who deserve a face-to-face explanation. Only you will know what is best to do. It is recommended that you do the right thing by your partner, unless your life is in danger. This way in the years to come, you will have peace of mind about how you handled the matter. Let love fill your heart for the other person before you communicate that you are leaving. This way you are less likely to get angry or upset as you speak. Let it be all about you.

Some Helpful Suggestions

The following are some helpful suggestions for various ways that you can get free of a bad relationship. Hopefully, there is a suggestion that will fit your situation or can at least give you ideas on what you can do or say:


When there is abuse, run and do not walk to the nearest sanctuary. The safe place can be with a family member, a friend or the police. You do not deserve to live in fear from the person who is supposed to love you. Your physical safety is first and foremost.

Living Separately

When you live separately, any form of communication can work—even no communication. Sometimes there are people to whom we just do not want to respond. Unless the person is not nice, then it is good to provide some explanation. For example, “You are a wonderful person. However, this is not the relationship I wish to be in at this time. I wish you well.” You owe no further explanation than that.

Living Together

When your partner lives with you, and the breakup should be done face-to-face, plan in advance what you want to say. For example, “This relationship has not been working for me and we have not been happy together for a while. The issues seem to continue and I have decided that I want to separate. You are a good person. This is not about you. It is about me. Thank you for our time together.”

Love is Not Supposed to Be Hard

The wonderful thing about relationships is that they help define who you are, what you like and what you do not like. You have the right to take your own path. You have the right to choose an easier life. Love is not supposed to be hard.

Don’t Go Back!

It is most important to remember that once you leave, do not go back! If you are at the point where you want out, but find yourself going back and forth in confusion, then you are really not ready to leave. Should this be the case, it is not in your highest good to leave. Stay and try to figure things out. There is more to be worked out between you and your partner. However, if your mind is made up and you choose to separate, always go forward and never backwards. After all, there is a reason why they are called an “ex.”

8 thoughts on “How to Free Yourself From a Bad Relationship

  1. Chaneel

    How can I end ex from phone stalking me. Lately he has been blowing my phone up for now every month for the past three months. He’s a bad omen for me. I wish he would respect my wishes to stop trying to interfere with my life. I have gotten over him and want to prepare for a clean start. I have moved far away from the drama. He’s birthday is August 2, 1961

    1. dmarantz moderator

      Have you tried blocking his number? I don’t know what kind of phone you have, but usually you can block a person’s number so they can’t call you. Simple enough.

  2. mary abia

    i have been n a relationship with this guy, he is not supportive to my needs,he has been livi in my house over 1 and half years,i notice he is quarelsome in nature i have told him seveal times to leave my house and ends up threatening me if i leave sometimes iwonder if its a crime to have known eric,pls what do i do to have my space and freedom to move on with my life in peace thanks

  3. Marc from the UK

    Alternative? Turn of the Telly, the mobile, and sit outside with a glass of vino and watch the stars and listen to the breeze!

  4. Beloved

    To state unequivocably in such an article the following: “For example, “You are a wonderful person. However, this is not the relationship I wish to be in at this time. I wish you well.” You owe no further explanation than that.”…

    That last statement “You owe no further explanation than that (???) is encouraging and advocating the worst form of disrespect for another human being, especially one whom you professed to have cared for and loved and perhaps still do. Just because a relationship has not worked out for one person does not mean the right of the person to disregard or disrespect the feelings of the other. You have every right and the free will to leave a relationship, but please, do leave with compassion. This article is at best contradictory – “This way in years to come, you will have peace of mind on how you handled the matter (???). Sure, I don’t owe you any explanation for leaving even though we have shared a life for X years. It’s not about you, it’s about me. Tell that to all the spouses and partners who were dumped with such an explanation and you are likely to get lynched.

    Healthy and mature relationships are getting harder and harder to eatablish and build, and people no longer have the tenacity to build sustainable relationships.

  5. Diana

    I have been in an abusive relationship for a long time. I have tried to leave many times, having a young child does not help to move away, because of financial problems. I live in a foreign country and having no family or friends makes it even more a dilemma, you don’t know who to ask for help or to run to. I stayed because of ill health and I wanted to see my child through good schooling and studies. Then when she went to make her own life, I was left with no family, still no money and no one to turn to, my family back home having deceased! Go when it get’s too much and don’t wait for anything or anyone to stop your freedom, because one day it becomes impossible to turn the clock around!!
    An abuser can be manipulative and will take away your freedom of thoughts and actions, it is very subtle in the beginning of a relationship and you do not see it happening. An abuser is an individual who has no empathy, no love or sentiments in him (usually a male) and he wiill take everything from you to possess it and you,he does not care, with him it is all a question of power. He is usually an individue who is weak and immature and can only live taking from others. Beware of this kind of person, they are true poison.

  6. GM

    Having been dumped more often than I care to admit, an explanation of what I did wrong is appreciated. Bad enough you’re showing me the door, and I have the right to know why. I also find the, “you’re a good person” to be a load of crap. It’s condescending, and it’s pretentious. If I’m such a good person, and if I’m so good to you, then why are you leaving me?

  7. LJK

    I have been in this relationship for just 11 yrs and lived together 5 yrs out of the 11. I did move out once and shouldn’t have moved back but it was due to financial that I did. He is verbally/emotionally abusive but never physical. I do have days when he is nice that I feel guilty for planning my move out and then when he is verbally abusive I am not. I know that after 11 yrs of this roller coaster he isn’t going to change/improve. He wasn’t supportive to me during my moms sickness/death. On his days off he goes to the bars/drinks. I unfortuantely have to move out when he is gone as he will be livid and very verbal. He thinks there is nothing wrong with our relationship. We really haven’t been intimate since April and sexually since May. I know he doesn’t have another girlfriend or sexually active with someone else. I just am scared when he finds out and to be alone when I move.


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