How To Reverse a Sexless Marriage

Sexless marriage Do you really want to have sex again?
It’s the most important question you need to ask yourself and answer open-heartedly, if you’ve been dealing with a relationship that’s been lust-less for years, or even just months. “Half the battle is deciding if you really want to make love to your partner,” reveals Liam ext. 9290, one of the foremost psychic advisers in matters of sexuality and relationships. “After all, you can’t make something out of nothing.”

Liam says you’ve got to want sex to have it. If you consciously or sub-consciously don’t even like your partner that may be the big issue. If you honestly want to get your sex life back, then make it your mission!

Liam offers 6 ideas to help you ease sex back into your marriage, or relationship:

Tweak your perception of sex

In much of our society we view sex as “mechanical” and deep down, some still have an uncomfortable notion that sex is for procreation — only. “We don’t see sex as a spiritual act, and that’s where we get into trouble. There is a sacred sexual being in each of us,” Liam point out. “Revere sex as a part of finding enlightenment.”

Keep a sex journal, daily

Write down everything and anything you desire, fantasies, memories… After a while you’ll be surprised at what comes up. Keep it hidden!

Give yourself 10 minutes per night of sacred sex meditation

Meditate or just think about what scared sex means to you. Light a candle… the practice doesn’t have to be elaborate. “It’s a special time alone to focus on that sacred sexual being that is in each of us. It will create a spark in you — it’s like flipping on a light switch to your sexuality,” explains Liam.

Learn to feel sexy

Many people don’t feel sexy. It’s hard to want sex or get past a bad sex life when you aren’t feeling it. If you’re dealing with sexual hang-ups, ask your sexual being within for help. Do whatever it takes to build your sexual energy by reminding yourself throughout the day that your are a sensual, sexual being. Make a little altar in your room. Collect erotic oils or scents like vanilla, cypress or jasmine -wear them, sniff them. Read erotic literature, “I like Lady Chatterly’s Lover, and classic writers like Henry Miller and Anais Nin. If you prefer romance novels, go for them, rent sexy movies, adult movies (why not?), and find out what you like and want.”

Create desire

“Over time we may inadvertently devalue our partner because we have constant access to them,” Liam points out. “It automatically makes them less desirable to us. We also tend to end up playing one major role in the relationship… the saint, the mother, the vulnerable woman, or the daddy, priest, or bad boy. We have many layers, there’s more to us than this one role.” This works both ways. So change up the way your partner sees you.

Start out subtly

Make these alterations in your “sexiness” subtle so it doesn’t threaten your partner, the psychic suggests. Dress a little differently. Notice what your partner likes, what turns their head. Play the music that turns them on, serve the foods they find seductive. Look them in the eye, brush up against them, make an effort to give them more physical contact. Take belly dancing, pole dancing classes or even yoga. Just let your partner know that you are doing something new (you don’t have to perform for them) and they’ll sense a change in you that should inspire desire.

As you explore each of areas of your sacred sexual being, you will slowly build the energy of seduction within yourself and an aura of seduction in your household.

Look for Part 2 next Thursday, as Liam explores Spiritual Sex Training.

43 thoughts on “How To Reverse a Sexless Marriage

  1. Pingback: Sex Q&A: A Loveless, Sexless Marriage | California Psychics Blog

  2. Pingback: Find Love In and Out of Marriage | California Psychics Blog

  3. Pingback: Why Women Stay | California Psychics Blog

  4. Pingback: Why We Leave Soulmates | California Psychics Blog

  5. Pingback: Save Your Marriage in Two Minutes | California Psychics Blog

  6. Pingback: Reconnect With Your Lover | California Psychics Blog

  7. dgreenha

    I’ve been married for 33 years and the last 10 to 15 years have been sexless and yes it is painful. My husband and I both had affairs, I don’t believe he is anymore, but I’m still seeing the man I’m having an affair with. I desperately need that touch, which for some reason I could never give it to my husband. To many fights unresolved, we both shut down and don’t speak to each other. We’ve said to many hurtful things to each other that we can never take back. We choose to stay together for all the wrong reasons, our children who are grown and married, financial reasons, and health benefits at least that’s what we say. Deep down I do love my husband he has put on a significant amount of weight, he has high blood pressure and other health issues. The very last time we were intimate my husband seemed like he was having a difficult time didn’t seem as firm, sometimes I think he pushed me away because he was unable to have sex and his pride got in the way. I will really will never know the answer because we just don’t talk and it’s been so very long I don’t think I could go there again with him. I do believe the other man for me is probably just sex and that void of being held. I was never one to show affection had a hard time with it, but with the other man I feel free and can be myself where I didn’t feel that way with my husband. I still feel very lonely and very sad that my husband and I are not affectionate. I do blame me for all of it.

  8. Pingback: Conflicting Opinions: Arranged Marriages | California Psychics Blog

  9. Nat

    Our sexless marriage can’t be reversed !! Been married 40 plus years and the last 25 have been sexless.
    Older now not interested anymore plus taking meds totally messed up my libido. Any way I find sex to be a uneventful waste of time, no excitement, so much work for such a smll reward. Were happy without sex.

  10. nrusingha charana ojha

    it was scret love like negative when she want i scret full fill that.but fear have,so i wants for get shlter amonk hostel,because relly i want final live.i dont money,dont any family problem full free mind,that all

  11. M.G.L.

    I am sorry to say that he is not the one. You should have the talk with him and listen carefuly to what he has to say.. I think you should move on..
    Good Luck

  12. sam

    when me and g/f met,we wherent in love,been together for 2 years,and our sex is great,everyday,anyway,things she wouldnt do with other men,ya u guess it,and I satisfy her every time,she would not play around she dont want to lose what she has,and Im just plain,myself,

  13. sam

    u woman keep trying,but us men a different,u have got to be in love to keep the spark,if hes got someone in his mind,ur doomed,lose him or lose ur mined,all of us aint alike,

  14. becca

    me and this guy have been going for a while and ive fallen in love with him but he doesnt fell the same what do i do ? im like a “friend with benifets ” so i know about the other girl he likes ive tryd to keep him through toys to hard sex he loves it all just not me . he says he likes and loves me then he says it about the other girl its killing me how do i tell him how i feel and keep him ?

  15. Bill Brown

    Who and where are all of these neglected, abused, sexually
    deprived ladies? And why are they hanging on to these loser
    men that are cheating on, abusing and withholding sex from
    them? If any of them are looking for a mature MAN and they
    they live in northern Minnesota or are willing to travel or
    relocate have them contact me.
    Facebook Bill Brown White Earth Rez

  16. jrutherford

    high heels and lingerie works-dont attack him or make it seem like u are trying to seduce him, just wear it casually one day around the house-this will get his attn and make him go after you – play hard to get but smiling…sucking his nipples and gently biting them while u caress his body/chest works too, and if he’s not hard when you first start out, tell him you want to just suck his balls, thats all, he will get hard if you suck them like they were a scoop of your favorite icecream and tell him how good it is and how much you like them and his member, drag your hair lightly across his stomach and thighs down to his knees… this will work

  17. rose woolfolk

    Hey my name is rose I been going with this guy for about 18 years been knowing him about 30years. I’m married and was very unhappy and we stared talking and he living in md it made much better. we foolaround a long time he was ok and so was i but he caim he wanted more but I couldn’t see jumping on the grass it look green but it don’t have tobe when un get there. so we kept on seeing each other and I could tell he wanted more but out of the years he never gave me anything not even aball of candy. and I kept on fooling with him cause my husband was a drunk and did that for years never had time but took care of me and my kids.soit really didn’t matter cause I could go anywhere I wanted to go. no question asked. but about a couple of mouth ago he told me he wanted to be able to come see me when he wanted toand he getting tide of us doing this so my husband go gotin troblem and went to jail for six month so we got put out and I stayed with my daughter
    for six months and then I got my own place and no one help me. move in and he didn’t want me to go back to my husband but I did and he got up set but the whole time he didn’t come down to even show that he wanted this so I really don’t want to live by my husband move back in with me oh he got upset with that but he didn’t to live together he wanted to come when he wanted and keep his place so
    make a long story short I just was a fool for 18 years

  18. Josie

    Sorry, you have missed one main thing. When my love was told by a doctor that his medical problems were with his prostate and nothing anyone can do will make him able to have sex as we used to and loved so much. Now, we know what true Love is. I will love him forever no matter what and he know that. We will remain partners forever.

  19. indigodanceCarole

    Amber, totally with you on this one. I have a really nice man friend – we were getting on really well. I know he had a few other women before me – but one of the ex’s has come back to haunt our relationship. He said the sex was great with her, but no strings attached – which is what the attraction was. Where I am the love in his heart. I have accepted him and his past (even his men partners).
    The ex is now back on the scene – but with vengence since she found out about me. She is playing a control game, and like your issue, but she dosnt want my man – she wants the control of the situation on her terms only. My man cant see this – I tried to explain and it nearly broke us up – but our love for each other at the moment did bring us back, he realised he didnt want to lose me.
    He has known the ex longer than me – hence more history – but he says the love he has for me is from his heart.
    She to has no intention of leaving her husband (and I since found out she has other lovers and intends to have more). It all a power game to her, but its hurting our relationship and my man has withdrawn sex from me at the moment and stood back when I found out about her tactics. But he dosnt want me to go – so what do I do ??
    I love this man with complete compassion. I can let go of all the hurt and be there for him, but whilst ex is still in the picutre she is really enjoying the damage she is doing.
    The affection between us has changed – but slowly the trust is rebuilding. I am trying to show him that our love is strong and true. I can go without sex to keep my man – there is a bigger locational distance between us which makes it harder (as she is closer to him) – but it feels part of me is missing.

  20. melyndadunn

    I am going thru a similar situation where I have been with my boyfrind for 3 years; we dont live together but we have a one year old daughter. Thngs were so hot at the beginning of our relationship, unlike anything ive ever experience before. It was mixed with abuse and his immaturity about becoming a dad and also the fact that i have two kids from a previous marriage. kinda complicated. WE talk ,hang out daily, him telling me he loves me, wants to be with me, and will come over to sleep in the same bed with me and our nursing daughter, but we dont have sex. (we are both mormon so that can explain a lot) I know earlier it was because of new dad adjustments and hormones and young parenthoood) but we still love each other and are best friends so what gives? what does he feel at this point and what is needed from me to get him inspired to move up to the next level of committment? aka marriage? hes my best friend. I dont see myself with anyone else.I’ve been through counseling over the domestic violence issues and am willing to forgive and forget at this point…I know that being a best friend can be kind of like the foot stuck in cement when it comes to moving forward with a love relationship. I cant find help on this because everyone focuses on the past abuse and injustices. Should I just forget him and just give up? Or should I believe his words of love and actions that show he does care for me and my family. So confusing!

  21. Amber

    I have to say that it does feel good to know I’m not alone in dealing with these issues. It is easy to get discouraged when you want to have to sex or be intimate with that special someone and you feel them pulling away and you can’t do anything to stop it.
    But, I have found that never giving up on yourself, your relationship or them is the key. I could have easily walked away and found someone to be with when things got difficult [believe me, there were offers], but I am committed to being with this man I’m in love with and want more than [just sex], because yes, you still get the rush — but it’s not the same as having that with someone you love. So, don’t give up!

  22. Amber

    To those of you who have written that you want you’re partner/husband to be having more sex or at all and having the intimacy back in your relationship, I know what that’s like. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 12 years, which doesn’t sound like a lot, we live in separate households [his choice], and over the years, we’ve had a great sex life and intimacy, but it’s diminished more and more, until about a year ago, when I found out that a woman he was seeing at the beginning of our relationship was still in the picture and not only that, she was married [4th husband], well, to make a long story short, she called me as she found my name and number and told me that she had been having an affair why my partner for several years, even after she married her fourth husband. Once, my boyfriend, knew I knew, his affections [in every way, backed off or stopped completely]. He had no reason for this and said he loved, was still attracted to me and wanted to be with me. But every time I talked to the other woman, she told me how amazing their sex life was and still is. She said she told her husband too, but had no plans of leaving or my boyfriend. Well, just when I thought things were hopeless and I was ready to give up and walk away, she finally exited the picture, because she was unhappy that my boyfriend and I were having sex and sleeping in his bed [where he and she were having sex too]…can you believe that! Anyways, she’s been gone for a couple of months now, even called her recently to confirm that she was and planned on staying gone from our lives. I’ve had many heart to heart talks with my boyfriend about this, as it’s difficult to get that trust back. He even stopped having sex with me for the last two month since she’s been gone. But, I’m hoping after our last conversation things will finally be getting back on track. We’ve started having sex again and his affections are slowly coming back, but it’s still feels mechanical. It’s a start though and everything has to start somewhere…

  23. Carolyn Andrews-Allred

    Leola, first of all…if you BELEIVE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO TURN THE 58 YEAR OLD SCORPIO MALE ON…then, you have, by your words, gotten your wish…
    Change the verbiage you use in daily life,and shortly after, you WILL see a change..I am married to a 62 year old man…and, over time, I have convinced him that he is a handsome man…first he said he was glad he married a blind girl…and then, he began to believe…and small things become bigger, and better…
    If you are committed to a person, then relax and be the woman that he MUST MAKE LOVE TO!! It will happen!

  24. carolyn andrews-allred

    hey leola…sounds like your guy gets turned on when he preaches…hmmmm??? I think it must be the excitement of the connection he has with the congregation…and he then turns to you afterwards for the REAL REWARDS of his efforts…so, if you can GO with that, anticipate this more directly…plan to congratulate him in a positive, and more sensual way…be ready…he may have another SERMON ON THE MOUNT!!!!

  25. leola minor

    I beleive its impossible to to turn this 58 year old scorpio [male\ ‘ON. I’VE tried everything,But however’Hes seemingly ready more on sundays after church,more so if he has preached a sermon on that day at church. whats up with that move/

  26. g.s.m said

    i feel that my husband is cheating on me and that he does not love me anymore what should i do i love him every much we have been together for 26 years and i have a hard time getting him to have sex he is always tired

  27. Lucy

    We had a great sex life. Really great. Then we ruined it. We decided to take ecstasy one weekend and the sex was even more amazing then before. This started to be something we would do once a month, then once a week. I was good with this but he started wanting to take it all the time then he moved on to coke. It totally took over his life and I’m not sure why I stayed with him but I did. He’s now been completely drug free for 7 months. Our relationship has suffered and our sex life has suffered. I know it’s wrong but I miss those occasional weekends with ecstasy, you lose all your inhibitions and open up, the intimacy was wonderful. I’m trying to create this without the drugs but he is not open to it, it probably reminds him too much of those days. For the first time ever our sex life is mechanical and something we just do to do it. I guess I shouldn’t complain. Things could have ended up much worse.

  28. Shina

    I am in a marraige where i really think that both me and my husband have lost feeling for each other, for me its the cheating and for him i guess its the constant reminding of the trust that was broken by him the cheater. We would have sex maybe once every 2 weeks but for me i have no sexual desire and i only do it for the record but i don’t really feel sexual, also during his cheating he would be really verbually abusive to me and i would lash back but i am sometime careful with my words but he is not.

  29. Samantha

    To keep things interesting I like to role play. I like to pretend I’m someone else to do things I would be to shy to do otherwise. My boyfriend likes this freaky side. I also like to feed him, rub him, and dress sexy. Maybe I wear something like a sexy top that teases him or some short booty showing shorts around the house, victoria secret looking underwear,or cook him breakfast naked.

  30. Liam at ext. 9290

    Greetings, Arleen. I thank you for your most interesting post. I think it is very imortant to emphasize a few points for the sake of clarification. First, and foremost, when we discuss sacred or spiritual sexuality, we are not implying that one form of sex or pleasure is more holy, or better than any other form. All sex, all pleasure, in any form, is spiritual, is sacred, is divine. What we are discussing in these articles is the alteration of perception and expansion of consciousness which some people develop (in a myriad of different ways) in regard to human sexuality. We are striving to view sex as spiritual, and not simply a functional act … But no matter how one views it, sex is the most potent exression of the divine; whether it’s experienced between two strangers in the back of a Buick, or a committed couple exploring Kundulini arousal in an eastern Temple. No difference in the act, just a difference in perception…coming to a point when you see all sex acts as beatific and divine, and seeing the persons connected with those acts as beatific and divine. I think everyone, on some level really does understand sex as a mode of spirituality. Sometimes it just takes a little polishing of the lens of understanding. Remember what William Blake said,
    ‘When the doors of perception are cleansed, things will appear as they truely are … Infinite.’ Be well.

  31. Liam at ext. 9290

    Greetings, Lori, and I thank you for such a thought provoking post. Let me first say that you certainly have the right attitude in regard the situation, and to consider your quest a task of seduction is highly mystical and sensual mindset in and of itself. Seduction as an art is a very ancient and spiritual practice, and the secrets of the priestesses of ages past still linger, nestled in the subconscious, waiting to be released.
    I agree with you, Lori, that your husband’s excuse of a diminished libido with age is rather a generic shield. Though there are many factors which affect a man’s libido over time, there is no biological reason for a lack of interest in sex at 59, or 89 for that matter. Keep in mind, every case is different when it comes to such issues. In readings, love/sex psychics attempt to delve deeply and very specifically into the thoughts and emotions of the person in question (such as your spouse). Here, we will speak in very general terms.
    Men of your husband’s age are often prone to negative thought forms of a most atrocious sort, which build over time, and tend to emasculate the sexual self. From the bombardment of ads on TV for erectile dysfunction, heart attacks, high blood pressure … Friends at the office having bypass surgery, dying younger and younger … There is a prevading pressure and fear, a social flux of subconscious energy, that men of his age are not meant to be vital. This takes place heavily on the level of suggestion. Gone are the days of the virile warrior kings, the sophisticated older gentleman, the experienced hunter stalking his female prey. In it’s place we accept with humor the bumbling and dull witted aging male.
    To have no professed interest in sex, is to have no interest in life. It is an isolation from that which is vital, from nature, from the primal self. Lori, seduce with suggestion and subtlety. You are fighting powerful suggestive phantoms, and you can usurp them with gentle pressure. The time for aggressive approach comes later. You must remind your husband of his vitality. Subtle, suggestive … As in the above article, create an oasis of sexuality for yourself first. It will smolder over into his own universe as time goes by. Move your energy and his closer to the earth, back to all that is primal. Eat game meats, drink red wine. Shop at farmer’s markets. Go barefoot and wear your hair down. Play wild music, drum music, take up drumming yourself. Do not approach him, but make yourself the prey, the object to be conquered. Make yourself vulnerable and allow him to save or help you. Play in the dirt and explore your wild self. Throw some dirt his way now and again … Such simple sounding things, and yet, always remember, seduction takes place almost entirely within the realms of the subconscious mind; symbol, gesture, aesthetics are all key.
    And, above all, keep reading the articles in this series and employ the methods… Get a psychic reading with one of our experts … Keep expanding your own sexual self. Happy hunting, Lori. Let the edict of your ancient Moon Mistresses guide you. Be creative.

  32. Arleen Shamon

    I wonder why this is so foreign for most people sacred intimacy. I am very sexual, but single but the first thing most guys want is “sex.” I’m not making them wrong but it’s real tough to find someone who even understands sacred sex. Don’t know if you’ve heard of David Deida but he wrote a book called Finding God Through Sex, so where is that man? Hmmm…. waiting.

  33. Liam at ext. 9290

    What a wonderful post, Thinkerbelle, and thank you for sharing your experiences. Your post speaks to the theme of human evolution and the need for novelty in sexual and romantic relationships. We’re all (men AND women) hardwired for a diversity of mating scenerios, and the quest for novelty is ingrained in all of us. You know, I want to emphasize that though this series of articles is designed for couples in committed relationships, there are all sorts of partnered scenerios sexually speaking, and all are spirutally sacred, period.
    It sounds as if you might have perhaps found the person who can take you past your limits in this new gentleman. What I mean is, those former relationships were about a certain type of novel passion. Quick flames, they have their time, their space, then they fade. But in our lives, sometimes, we might meet a few partners … Where there is an underlying chemsitry so profound it carries us beyond just that initial mating period and into other, more perilious, yet provocative realms … Into encounters of the deepest and most ecstatic sorts. Partners of that sort, well, with work, trust, desire, they can achieve things which short term lovers rarely can. We’re speaking about that in the next article, btw. Thanks, TB. Your post was wonderful.

  34. Liam at ext. 9290

    Brandy, that is such a remarkable and sensual gesture, and one which moves to the core of what I call the Theater of Desire. Utilizing Archtypes, those energies embedded in the collective unconscious, enables us to enter the domain of primal ritual, catharsis, and sacred sexual drama. Such naughty little rituals actually speak in very direct terms to the more haunted portions of our psyche. The maid archetype is a modern theme, but still a more classical submissive female type. Have you ever read ‘The Diary of a Chambermaid,’ by Octave Mirbeau? It’s one of my faves, and though by modern terms it wouldn’t be considered ‘adult’ in form, it contains some of the most erotic themes imaginable. The portion where Celestine is employed to look after the ailing son of a wealthy matron … I was so riveted after reading this, I did not sleep for nights .. Such passion. Thanks for sharing, Brandi.

  35. Lori

    How do I get my man interested in me again? We have been together for 16 years and I am crazy in love with him, but he has no sexual desire for me. We are best friends and get along very well, he just doesn’t want sex any more. I have tried everything I can think of and have tried to keep my self in shape and attractive. I long for his touch and am trying to improve myself in every way and to open up to better communication between us. He seems perfectly satisfied with no sex, but I am not. He says that it is his age (59) and his libido is diminished, but I don’t buy it. How can I seduce him or at least get him interested again? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  36. Thinkerbelle

    Liam, you make an important point about why some people have sexless marriages. I really think you have to look into your heart and decide if you want to be sexual that person or not. Luckily I am crazy about my man… even just looking at his face makes me want him… But in the past, especially when dating people, sometimes as I got to know them over time, I knew it was over, when I just couldn’t bring myself to do it with them – even just for the sake of lust!

  37. Rachel

    My husband and I role play from time to time. Sometimes I am his wife and sometimes I play the role of Niki his incrediably hot roomate. I will call my husband and say hey it is Niki and Rachel (his wife) has left to go out for a little while, and then we have this hot love affair. Its great and keeps my husband from straying on me. Role playing is alot of fun and there are plenty of different ways to go about it like go to a bar seperately and pretend like you just met..

  38. Shakti

    I think a big part of it is also remembering that even if you don’t feel like it in the moment, once you get going, things heat up. Don’t say no, because you don’t feel like it in the moment, you might well change your mind once things are under way.

  39. Raymond Croteau,MSGT,USMC, retired

    In addition to the tips, I would add VERY STRINGENTLY, one needs to constantly open communications with your partner in an honest, sincere, and respectful manner. Trust, faith and belief in each other would open the heart and the mind, and, without the arguing, fighting, and tantrums, which some people experience or perform, the heart and inner soul looks at your partner in an ” open book” fashion, thus relaxed feelings emerge and exist, a new appreciation of your partner develops, and sparks begin to glow deep within. In quote ” FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND MIND- THEY WILL SET YOU FREE”.

  40. Brandy

    When I want to heat things up, I text my husband or I call him and leave him a sexy message. Like you better hurry home tonight because the maid is coming and she has something special for you. Then I dress up like a french maid and have a plate of appetizers and his favorite drink ready. Then the rest of the night is magic.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *