What Do Women Really Want?

What Do Women’s Wants Reveal About Their True Needs?

Today, I’m kicking off a two-part series, in which I will cover the wants and needs of men and women, from the vantage point of how evolution and society have shaped our thinking. Women are motivated by a number of factors, which include affirmation, affection and emotional availability. Rooted within these wants are deeper needs that affect how women are viewed in society and their relationships. Allow me to pull back a few layers of the onion as we theorize about what it is that women really want. Keep in mind that these are not necessarily what women consciously want, but where their unconscious needs are driving them.

Women Want a Strong Man Who Treats Her Poorly

This theory may be tough to swallow, but hear me out before passing judgment. Think for a moment about the typical men that women swoon over. He is usually masculine, brooding, and unsympathetic. Think Edward Cullen of the Twilight series, who could be argued to possess all these traits, yet women adore him. Why? Researchers speculate that once upon a time, it was the bad boys who were more likely to survive the dangers of the world and come out alive. It would be quite beneficial for women to choose a man who could not only serve up the bacon, but manage to stay around long enough to see the kids leave the roost. This is the theory behind the strong man, but what about being treated poorly? It turns out, as many women have experienced, and studies can back up; masculine men are more likely to retreat, cheat, be abusive and divorce. A strong man is not a woman’s best choice for an easy, breezy relationship.

There’s a Catch!

The world is no longer about which caveman is stronger and how many boulders can be dropped on his head before a noticeable drop in intelligence is noted. Things like healthcare and organized society have enabled men to use their brain in place of brawn. Studies point out that the macho man is becoming a dying breed in some areas of the world, such as Sweden, Finland and Austria. What do these countries have that others don’t? Health. The women in these countries are considering men for their love of children, ability to empathize, and preference for scintillating conversations by the fireplace. Where machismo continues to be a desired trait is in poorer countries, where strong men continue to stand the best chance of survival. These include Mexico, Argentina, and Brazil.

“To attain the love you want, be prepared to be, or work to become, the type of person you want to attract!” – Yemaya ext. 5143

Women Prefer Co-Operation Over Competition

Evolutionarily, women have stood little to gain from competition. Yes, there are a lot of women out there to compete for the hand of a good man, but there is rarely a shortage of men risking their egos to be this man. Women are drawn to co-operative efforts, because those fare best within intimate settings. This is one theory why women have not enjoyed the same influence over society as men. They were simply not motivated to compete. However, this is changing.

Women Want Men of Quality

Most men will accept just about any woman for a short-term fling, giving partiality to those who are slightly less intelligent, according to studies. Women, on the other hand, will not loosen their expectations. This means that if a guy is out to find a girl who is just looking for a good time, he is still going to have to prove his pedigree before she’ll accept his company. Evolutionarily speaking, women have more at stake with short-term relationships. A man may sleep with two hundred women, producing several healthy offspring during one year. A woman who does the same, will only have one shot at doing this right, so she better make sure those two hundred guys are all of good stock.

Women Want the Approval of Other Women

Choice copying is validation from other women, that a man is a good catch. Numerous studies have depicted equally attractive photos of men who were either being ignored by women, or enjoying their undivided attention. Across the board, women prefer men who appear to be desired by other women. This may sound like a reasonable shortcut to doing the work on their own. However, there is one problem. The majority of highly desired men are already married!

Now it’s your turn. I invite you to give us your own theories about what women really want.

“How do you decide who is the right man? You will know that you have the right man because you will feel balanced, stable, loved and the challenges that come with the man won’t drive you away.” – Leo ext. 5265

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11 thoughts on “What Do Women Really Want?

  1. Gopinathan k

    The article was good.The experiences are relatively general in nature.Going into specific
    cases this won’t hold good.Also the variable have a part to play.These are the health factor,
    age,culture,heriditary qualities,education,social environment of particular country,region,
    society.The basic truth that one may read in between the lines may be relatively
    true.But wholesome generalisation would be difficult.

  2. Sophia

    I agree with Jeremy.
    Perhaps when a woman is younger and has a crush and receives mixed messages (bad boy MO)
    she may want to stick around, figure him out, try get hid attention.

    Most women over 30 have figured this out and see that man and end the first date pronto IF they are looking for a partner and a healthy mature relationship.

    I agree, unhealthy women will go after the bad boy who comes in at least 10 forms. Women need to make sure the man meets her qualities consistently and honorably if she wants a MAN not a man/boy which are tiresome and boring.

  3. jeremy pezzeca

    If a woman is attracted to and wants a bad boy, she, herself is not a quality woman. Quality women value Godly men who have morals and values. If a woman is in any way attracted to the bad boy type, X her off the list. In the long run it will be an empty, unfullfilling, miserable relationship

  4. Ophelia ext. 5078

    Wonderfully written article! Can’t wait for the next one.

    I think many women are attracted to complicated men they can’t understand. Women are thinkers and love to analyze behavior. If they can’t “get” a guy’s behavior, they are so intrigued!

    I also think some women are drawn to damaged men, those who women want to fix. Many women are nurturers by nature and want to help a man who is a little disturbed find his way and make peace with life.

  5. Donna

    Just a man that is honest, faithful and reliable and likes to have fun. You wouldnt think that list would be too hard to come by! Think again.

  6. Maggie

    I find all of this false, this is not what I am looking for in a man! I dont want the bad boy, or someone for a good time. I want a strong, intelligent, gentle, blunt, caring, sympathetic, loving “man” who is not afraid to be himself at all times! And I found that “man” about a year ago! He gets me & I get him! We always try to understand each other! He holds the true meaning of what women want!

  7. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    There is much truth in this article Eric…..

    I read for many women attracted to the ” bad boy ” type of … I agree with the comment below .

    ” This is the theory behind the strong man, but what about being treated poorly? It turns out, as many women have experienced, and studies can back up; masculine men are more likely to retreat, cheat, be abusive and divorce. A strong man is not a woman’s best choice for an easy, breezy relationship “

  8. christine

    Great subject Eric….Theory I believe is a fluid thing and sometimes just like searching in the dark without a flashlight; or over-rated and cannot withstand a lot of scrutiny…when in reality a lot of this goes back to the very beginning when a girl is an infant to small child, a teenager, a young adult and finally maybe if she’s lucky…a full-blown woman; all predicated on what’s influenced her along the way from birth…having great parents to start with is key…even older brothers…and how these men treat her mother, other sisters, and girlfriends that ultimately become wives…but then the Mother sets the tone for the family…I got lucky..a great dad and 5 brothers…my mother had just a few rules and they worked…she made it clear..Dad you do all the outside work and I’ll do all the inside work and don’t poach on my turf…but they were a united front on everything else and it could not be penetrated by the kids…simple, but great system…he was a real man and she was a real woman…a partnership…simple yes…but complex when it needed to be so…I think if we are honest …this is what women really want in relationship development…2 of my brothers were bad boys…I could see it from a very early age…but they were more popular, better at everything…the old term..it all just came easily to them applies here…something in their DNA..perhaps…both leaders and successful…but challenging…and I think women strive for this kind of man…it gets them out of their comfort zone and it’s exciting…albeit hurtful at times…but the real question here, is knowing or being in-tune with oneself and being brutally honest with oneself having a good compass center to rely on…self-love and self-worth…being a little selfish, even a little spoiled…having high, but not unrealistic expectations and the intestinal fortitude to go for the Gold in real life…wouldn’t you agree, Eric? Yes, I want a man of quality and I have one…HE IS EXCEPTIONAL and we chose each other; it’s not perfect, but we have perfect moments…it was so spontaneous… I would love to discuss this with you at length and you mentioned evolution…well I have an amazing story on that…something I discovered while in religion classes with my Hebrew Professor from Oxford…you might want to hear more…Thank you, Christine


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