Red Responds: She’s What He’s Searching For

Nancy in Goffstown writes:

I “know” that I am not meant to be alone. However, I sure am tired of waiting for the right man to show up in my life. I never thought I would be single at the age of 37. There is one person who keeps coming in and out of my circle. I suppose I think of him most as he is what I know now. Is there someone else out there for me or will this man finally realize that I’m what he’s been searching for?

Every time I finally get to the point where I’m comfortable “being friends” he starts seeking me out again. I am moving forward with my life (new job, new puppy) but have lots of questions as to how my life will unfold as it certainly hasn’t gone the way I imagined when I was a kid.

Dear Nancy,

It seems as if the man who keeps coming in and out of your life is in no hurry to break that cycle. While you may be exactly what he has been searching for, until he is truly ready to settle into a relationship, you can count on mixed signals and inconsistencies.

Mr. in-and-out is an option for you, but he is definitely more of a back-up plan. Even though he is a nice enough guy, he really hasn’t, and doesn’t, give you what you need. Enjoy him for who he is, and enjoy the relationship for what it is.

I have absolutely nothing that says you can’t eventually end up making a life with this man, but the life you want isn’t going to happen any time soon. Patience is definitely going to be the determining factor. If you wait long enough, you win. But, I have to tell you, to choose to wait it out feels a bit as if you would be settling.

Keep your head up, and eyes and options open. You are not destined to go through life alone. As you continue moving forward in your life, your circle of friends is going to expand. New friends and new activities are going to open a couple more doors for you in the dating world. As long as you remain open to new people in your life, and aren’t adverse to a little matchmaking, you are very likely to meet another man who may be just what you are looking for.

I see you being talked into a blind date, by a well-meaning female friend. While it may seem meddlesome, take her up on it when she talks about knowing a man you would be just “perfect” for. Her instincts seem to be pretty correct.

While your life may not have gone the way you had imagined, you will end up with the happiness you hope for. It just may not come about the way that you expect it to.

Good luck!
Ext. 9226

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