Red Responds: He Complements Her too Much

Melissa in Roanoke writes:

I need some help in deciding what to do about my situation. I just recently started dating a man whose birthday is May 24, 1966 and my birthday is September 27, 1966. He is so nice, sometimes to the point of being too nice. He compliments me all of the time, everytime I turn around. I’ve tried to tell him that a compliment every now and then is fine, but all of the time is too much, but he says that I deserve them and keeps it up.

He actually just seems too good to be true. The two dates that we have been on, I have had to make the plans and I wish that he would take the initiative and plan something on his own for us to do instead of asking me what I want to do. Right now, he doesn’t have a job, but says that everything is fine and that he will tell me if there is a time that he can’t afford for us to go out.

He has four children that live in another state and I am mindful that he has to pay child support so the two dates that we have been on, I have tried to keep them as low cost as I possibly can. He is already talking about the future and says that he hopes that we will be together for a long time and has hinted at possible marriage in the future. I feel like it’s way too soon to talk about the future and would prefer to just take it one day at a time. I wonder if there are things that he is keeping hidden from me, if there’s a side to him (since he’s a Gemini) that he’s keeping from me that he’s afraid to show me and if I should just hang it up and hope that someone else comes along that might be better for me.

Dear Melissa,

There is definitely more to this man than you are aware of, so you should be careful of how quickly or deeply you get involved with him. He is always going to be overly-complimentary. That’s just how he is, and his compliments are sincere. However, there is a trace of “gotta get her” energy entangled with them. He is still trying to flatter you.

He has money in the bank, but it isn’t a life-long supply. Even though he is aware of this, there is laziness about him that indicates that he will just ride the wave as long as he can, and then scramble. I’d really hate for you to be a part of that, because you would feel inclined to help him out with his responsibilities.

Even though he has a softer, more romantic side to him – he is not a “planner.” If you tell him what you’d like to do, and tell him to make the arrangements, he will. Rather last-minute, but he will.

Overall, I just don’t see the two of you evolving into a long-term relationship. You haven’t seen his temper yet, but he has one. Also, he wants things to progress rather quickly between the two of you so that you don’t have a chance to change your mind. He’s not a bad guy, but he also isn’t the one for you.

I would advise you to let him down as gently, but firmly, as you can. He’s actually a little too laid back to be a stalker, but there is a chance he may try to linger around a bit longer than you are comfortable with.

Good luck!
Ext. 9226

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