To Blog or Not To Blog…

You walk in the door from the date you thought would never end. You are barely out of your party clothes and you are on the computer writing about what they ordered for dinner, who paid, what terrible outfit they wore and the comment that was so inconceivable you nearly fell out of your chair.

Then, you go on a second date. Guess what? They aren’t that bad, actually. You think perhaps you were a little harsh after the first date. Too bad your initial impressions are out there in cyberspace waiting for your date to discover.

To blog or not to blog? Here are some pros and cons of blogging about your dates.

First, there are some pros. For instance, you have a chance to get second opinions from others that may help you admit a big red flag that fell into the soup in the first five minutes. The second opinions may also encourage you to keep going and open your mind to more than just the first date.

And then there is the sheer camaraderie of it. Everyone has experienced the uncomfortable anguish of dating – particularly if you had your hopes up! By sharing the experience with others, even though they are out in internet-world, the loneliness is eased and the humor and humanity of the experience comes through. Telling an anonymous audience can open you to a deeper honesty about your feelings, good or bad, for this new person. Blogging can be a therapeutic outlet for all the strange and wonderful places our heads take us.

And then there are the cons.

Therapy it is – and public therapy at that! Putting all your feelings and hopes out into a public forum can feel great the night you pounded it out in a furry of honesty and purple prose, but the next morning it can hit you like a verbal hang-over. Your thoughts were lucid and exciting and a few days later you realize the night didn’t really mean as much to you when you used three exclamation points to drive home your opinion. Which is all fine of course, except that your original conviction, and perhaps, mocking, of the other person exists out there. And even if you rush to take it down, the damage may already be done. Plus, no matter how much you think you know who’s reading it, you never know who is reading it.

But what about blogging when you had the greatest date of your entire life? Again, you never know who is reading it. This wonderful night of romance doesn’t mean that this is the person who will become a life-partner. There are many couples in love who had less than an ideal start on the road to forever. You can have a great date with someone you lose interest in just a few weeks later. Would you want to read about all the great dates your partner had before they met you? Probably not.

Ultimately, there is only one question to ask yourself at the conclusion of a date – do you want to see this person again? Your intuition will lead you to the answer, and it’s very likely that it has nothing to do with what they wore, who paid or any of the details that make for great blogging. Blogging is about the details, and sometimes these are better kept to yourself. On the other hand, who can resist a great blog, right?

Whatever you decide, know that at the end of the night, both parties willingly volunteered to spend an evening throwing the dice in love’s casino. If internet reviews were included as part of the deal, a lot of folks would stay home. Love dictates vulnerability, and looking for love is the most vulnerable place to be. Give your experiences a chance and let them grow and lead you. Tell your friends the funny parts of your experiences in person, because dating, friendships and even blogging are really about the need to connect. And that, is something everyone is seeking.

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