Scotty and I met online four years ago. There was an immediate connection — we were both blown away. Things happened in both of our lives that forced us to put things on hold. He eventually tried to make things work with his ex-wife. That lasted less than a year and he was back in touch. We never really lost touch because from time to time we’d chat or email. But he came back and said he never stopped loving me and wanted to try again. A month later his ex-wife told him she was 3 months pregnant. We just put things on hold to get her through the pregnancy. In the months that followed we remained in contact but eventually he said that with the distance he just didn’t think he could do it… get us to the point of making a commitment to each other that is. I know this man is my soul mate and I believe he feels the same way but he is scared. Do you see him coming back to me? I know he is involved with someone right now, but as far as I can tell from family he’s not happy. Do you see a future for us?
– Gina in LA
Chances are very good that this man will come back to you, but only for a time, and only when it is convenient to him. Please keep that in mind when he does.
Though he presents as a pretty good guy, he has much learning and growing to do before he will be in a position to fully commit to any one woman. Right now, you want more from him than he is capable of giving.
Scotty comes through as more of a teacher than a soul mate. I don’t deny there is a strong connection between the two of you, but it isn’t a balanced energy – there is much more of an attachment from you to him than from him to you. As deep as your feelings are for him, an unbalanced connection is a sure sign of complications in a relationship. This imbalance indicates that every time you let him back in it is another opportunity for him to push you aside.
Holding on is hard and letting go can be even harder. Nevertheless, you are very fortunate. There is a new love just on the horizon for you. And this guy… well, seems to me, Scotty will quickly pale in comparison.