Red Responds: Her Mr. Hyde


I met a man online a year ago. At first, I wanted to get involved with him. I enjoyed talking to him on the phone because he seemed to be such a supportive, caring and responsible person.

But when we eventually met, he was, physically, not someone I would normally be attracted to. His ad lied about his weight and he had some physical problems which he had not exactly told the truth about.

As it turned out, I felt very comfortable and connected to him and found him sexy and interesting. He seemed to be on the same page to the point that I thought he may be more into the relationship than I was. However, once we became intimate he seemed to pull away somewhat and seemed a bit insecure. Then he abruptly ended our relationship over the phone in a rather nasty, cruel way. It was like a “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” thing.

What’s with this guy? I’ve moved on with my life but he keeps popping up in my mind and I get an uncanny feeling that we will be together again in some way. Why do I still feel a connection to this man?

– Ann

Dear Ann,

Your Mr. Hyde has some definite issues with relationships. Most of them have not turned out well for him, and what he did with you was beat you to the punch.

He was more interested in the relationship than you were, and that became apparent to him. This is why he became very insecure. History has taught him that when something seems too good to be true, particularly in the land of romance, that something is going to go drastically wrong for him. Rather than allow himself to be come more emotionally invested, he made like a rabbit and ran. His nastiness and the mean-spirited way he ended it with you was, in essence, his method of self-protection.

I really don’t see him coming back into your life. While there were some positive experiences for both of you during your time together, the two of you are like night and day. Truthfully, it feels like you are better off without him in your life. Not because he presents as a horrible person or anything, but because his presence in some way seems like it would hold you back.

The connection you still feel is because of the relationship and its ending, more than the man. Sometimes when we open ourselves to people that we normally wouldn’t, and then get burned because of it, the connection lingers. Take it as a life lesson, Ann. Through this man, you learned a whole lot about yourself.

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226

Did he change, or was it you? Ask Red for advice!

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